Getting old sucks, but it beats the alternative

I’ll be 72 in a couple of weeks, and I’ve become aware of a bunch of failures of my system. Worn out parts and incomplete instruction sets. The coding in my DNA is losing bits here and there.

I just had memory testing at the VA, and while the psychiatrist assured me that I’m generally average mentally with men in my age group (70-dead). There are a few areas where I’m still above average and none where I’m below, but overall my brain is working the same way as other 70 year old men.

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙢 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙚.

The most obvious degredation of my memory is in keeping track of my days. Since I retired in 2020 my days have consisted of taking my housemate’s son to school in the moring and picking him up in the afternoon, and spending a couple of hours a week at my housemate’s law office doing filing and such. That task isn’t always on the same days or the same hours, but I’ve done it long enough that I know generally when it’s occuring every week.

I have become dependent on routine and habits. I’m a firm believer in self control, in self discipline. To enable that I use Apple Calendar and Apple Reminders in concert to track my obligations for each day.

But what has thrown a wrench into my carefully planned day is medical appointments. And as I get older the more appointments there are. It’s not unusal for me to feel momentary panic when I can’t remember for sure if that next appointment is later today or tomorrow. So I pull up my phone and check my calendar. I may do that several times a day. I especially worry that an appointment may conflict with a routine task, so I’ll double and triple check to be sure it doesn’t.

It sucks to distrust your own memory, especially when it occurs daily. It’s not that “I can’t remember when I was 5 years old”, more like “I can’t remember what I was thinking 5 minutes ago”. I rely on Voice Memos when a thought crosses my mind and I’m not able to jot it down. If that happens while I’m on my laptop I’ll start a draft to save the thought so I can enlarge on it later. That’s what I did with this post.

So if you’re also getting to the age where the parts start failing one by one, adapt to using aids and friends to suppliment what you lack. I always hated depending on others, but I’m having to change my attitude about that. I need a ride to the hospital for surgery, I need help lifting an object too heavy for me (another frustration). Help is there, mechanical and physical. We just need to find what works for us. I hope you find what works for you.